In life, the only thing that doesn't change is change itself. This is the absolute, the one constant: that everything does - and must - change. As we age from infancy to adulthood the physical manifestation of this is obvious, and Mother Nature provides further examples. The evolution of one's psyche is yet another example of change; one occurring on a profoundly intimate level within each and every one of us. This particular experience goes mostly unnoticed by the casual observer, let alone the individual himself in many cases. However, inner growth - essentially the alchemy of one’s soul - is the master creative work undertaken by us all: whether mindfully or not. Self-awareness is the key ingredient here; a healthy sense of humor doesn’t hurt either...
What are we here for if not to learn? One's personal development as a human being is of such primary importance that worldly or material gains don't hold much significance without it. "Money can't buy happiness" is often said and most folks I know tend to doubt this. Some think that being rich and unhappy is a far better state than being poor and unhappy. Yet entertainment and politics have presented us with the experiences of those who seemingly have it all and are still struggling with emptiness and sorrow. What it boils down to is this: if the challenges presented for spiritual growth are unmet or avoided, the individual suffers, regardless of wealth.
Not that this is an easy task…
Over the holidays I saw the Jim Carrey remake of the classic tale, "A Christmas Carol", a movie I had always loved as a child. I remember thinking about the astounding changes Ebenezer Scrooge underwent in such a short period of time. Here was a man who spent a lifetime denying warmth and companionship to everyone because of fiscal greed, and overnight he experiences a complete change of heart. On Christmas Day he’s a completely reformed family man carving the turkey at holiday dinner. He’s warm and generous and feeling grateful to have his family around – he even throws his hard-earned cash around town in a mad rush of charity and goodwill.
Granted, I understand that Hollywood has to distill the moral message into less than 120 minutes but I would love to see what a sequel of this tale would show us about the future Mr. Scrooge. A week later…six months later…as the years go by…hmmm. Was he able to sustain his initial enthusiasm toward correcting his stingy ways? This was an old man – and that gave him a long time to create the bad habits he sustained year after year. He may have been scared straight that Christmas morning, as any ghost-fearing person ought to be. But in the long run old Scrooge is bound to come across the daily difficulties of living that will absolutely challenge his newly-implemented world view. Does he have the coping mechanisms necessary to sustain this life epiphany?
The thing I’m getting at is that change on the inner level is not so immediately assimilated. Sure, one can recognize that a change is needed – and this is often a feat in itself – but what then?
The realization is only the beginning and it takes hard work, diligence and patience to access the dark corners of the psyche. I can’t tell you how excited I was to come to some of the many revelations I had about myself: finally some light in a dark room! My earliest introductions to my shadow reflected back at me were rough: “Whoa – am I really like that??” Not a proud moment, on the one hand, but very cool to see through my own erroneous illusions about myself. The thing is, just seeing isn’t enough. That simply marks the point where the real work begins and requires much commitment.
It is easy to criticize others for their shortcomings – people are so messed up, inconsiderate and self-centered they give us ample opportunity to judge. Or do they? In fact, many times what we are doing is projecting our own dark characteristics and inferiority on to someone else. Listen carefully to yourself when you make a value-based judgment on someone and you will no doubt hear your own inner critic talking. That which we identify in another can many times be found right at home, baby.
The effect of such projections is a dangerous one: “I’m this” and “You’re that.” It isolates and separates us from our friends and loved ones. Often, the thing that bothered me most about another was the exact quality I refused to identify in me. Because I was convinced of my “otherness” I created the illusion that I was somehow more “right”, when actually I was guilty of the same behavior. I would like to say that I am currently so evolved that I no longer continue this activity, but like I said – this stuff takes time and patience. I am seven years into this journey and the revelations just keep on coming…there really is no rest for the weary! It does get easier though, and when I spot my shadow these days I usually greet it like an old friend rather than an unwelcome guest.
Carl Jung states in his book AION that “It is often tragic to see how blatantly a man bungles his own life and the lives of others yet remains totally incapable of seeing how much the whole tragedy originates in himself, and how he continually feeds it and keeps it going.” I couldn’t agree more, CJ.
And so I carry on like a bumbling fool, trying my best to be the real me. I keep alert for signs of my own ridiculous projections and stay focused on the change I committed to so long ago. At times I think what is the point? I have felt excruciatingly frustrated and dark at times, not wanting to let go of whatever beloved illusion I was clinging to. Ultimately I continue my journey because I am pleased with the results so far, even if I had to eat some humble pie along the way. I can take responsibility for my contribution to the situation at hand and gladly move forward through trouble pretty quickly.
It is through vigilance and determination that one leaves this world as something greater than what they started as. If, dear reader, you expected overnight success in your endeavors, perhaps you feel disappointed in previous failed attempts at self-mastery. But remember that behind every overnight success is a lifetime of hard work. Greater understanding of one’s darkest corners can shine brilliant light on all the confusion the curious Ego has one shrouded in. Once you get over the initial defensiveness and fear, anything is possible, both materially and spiritually. The key is seeing it through and enjoying the bumps along the way as an attractive part of the ride.
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